


I Have To Know

by idontmindanytime (ringergirllost)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, M/M, My First Fanfic, after season 3, more fluff than was planed, oh the smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-05 22:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringergirllost/pseuds/idontmindanytime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set months after season three. John has come to terms of what has happened and his feelings for Sherlock. Now John wants to know Sherlock's feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written fanfic before and this is my first time. Any feedback is good. Be as honest and as brutal as possible. i didn't use a beta so it is what it is right?
> 
> Some time later.........  
> I think I will keep up with this story. Still haven't gotten a beta but I like where it is going. Keep Checking In For New Chapters.

_Why? Why did this happen? He really thought he was over it. Why can't he just stop thinking about it?_

Yes, he should know, he should know the answer to all of those question but, he doesn't. John thought to himself. He almost felt like crying. Almost.... but he didn't. His world crumbled around him a few months ago and the only thing left standing was Sherlock. With Sherlock being the center of the world again, all of the old, confusing feelings came back. Ok lets not lie to each other. they never went way. Always just below the surface. Even with him dead. Even with Mary. Even with him not being gay. The feelings where always there. Now what to do with them? He tried to deny them. We all know how that worked out. When he was with Mary he could say it and no one would get the wrong idea. He was married to a woman who he thought he loved and had become infatuated his best friend, his best man, his flatmate. No one who think anything of it.

Now, now it's a different story. He was back at 221B, the life that he built after sherlock's fake death was gone and it was back to like it was before. Just like before there where the feelings. So yeah was there times back then where he would be in the shower and get off to the thought of Sherlock on his knees in front of him. or come home after a few with Greg and see Sherlock sitting in his chair wearing his dressing gown and wonder what would happen if he just went over and kissed him? He would only wonder, never act on it. More times more than not, his wank material had to do with Sherlock. Even when he was married, he thought about him in ways he shouldn't and at times when he shouldn't. Like on his honeymoon. It was just he couldn't get hard on the third night. He really didn't think his sexual fantasy about him where out of control, until that night.

The only thing that saved him was the whole drama with Mary, the baby and Moriarty. With the world turned upside down and the fear of death always being there. Who had time to think about his desire for Sherlock? With everything was done and over. When john's sadness and pain started to dissipated. John would catch himself thinking about how Sherlock's skin would feel under his hands, what he taste like, what his mouth felt like, what his face looked like when he came. Now everything is back to the way it was four years ago. John and Sherlock together on cases. Sherlock being a cock and John telling him so. John having a wank in the middle of the night to wonderfully dirty thoughts of Sherlock naked in some way shape or form. The only difference from the last time was John knew how he felt. this wasn't a crush or even a "phase". This was the one thing John couldn't deal with. The love for this man that was his world. Once john came to terms with what it was, he had to decide what to do with it.

John kind of had the thought that Sherlock knew how he felt. there is no way he didn't deduce it but if he knew why never act on it? why never bring it up? in John's head it would of been easier to hear Sherlock say "John you knew from the beginning i'm married to my work and I have no room for such things." Oh it would hurt but then maybe he could really move on from Sherlock. As John laid in his bed and thought about all of this, he came to the conclusion that he needed to know for sure. He would ask Sherlock how he felt and Sherlock would state the facts and it would be over and done with. Either which way, good or bad, he would deal with it. For god sakes he's been to war, got shot, he married an assassin and has a drunk as a sister. This shouldn't be big deal. John really did try and believe that. It's just wasn't working. So tomorrow John would face his fear and find out the truth. Once his mind was made up and he felt a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He even let his mind wonder in to the "What if theory?" What if Sherlock dismissed his feelings? Yeah that would hurt but again he has dealt with worse. What if he asked him to move out? On top of hurt the thought of having to moving made John rethink the whole thing. Then it came to to what if John spilling his feeling to Sherlock and him reciprocating his feelings. The thought about how it would feel. How it would be for Sherlock to belong to him. To wake up next to him, to kiss him when ever her wanted, to tell him he loved him whenever he wanted.

With this the inevitable happened. That want and need to be with that man. Sometimes his fantasy were so very explicit he would even embarrassed himself. Not this time. It was about how it would be for john to show him how much he as loved him. With slow deep kisses and light touches over pale skin. This made john hard almost instantly. He knew that it would end up like this, it seldom didn't.

A very small "Oh god." slipped from his mouth as his hand reached his cock under his red pants. A dry wank was never ideal but it being the middle of the night and John just down right lazy. It just might have to do for right now. That lasted a few mins then he just had to do something about the problem. Laziness and getting off weren't a good combo. John has use his own spit from time to time with other people but just using it to get himself off...... only a few times when in the army. It wasn't as bad as one would think. What made it hotter for John was he imagined it was Sherlock's spit in sherlock's hand. As John licked and spit on to his own hand, his other hand started to take off his pants. By the time they were off he had already gotten a few strokes in and really wanted to get off. Throwing off his covers and sheets and pulling up the white undershirt he was wearing. Exposing almost all of his naked body.

He was getting close. oh so close. he was right on the edge. This was the point where john could go full force, hard and fast or keep the slow and steady and make the feeling last. He went with slow and steady.

At the same time Sherlock decided something also. He decided to pic up the violin and play. It's like he read john's mind. It's like he was there watching john and that's the thought that made John come so hard that he had to cover his mouth with his arm. 

John stayed like this for a few mins thinking about the music he was hearing. Then it happened. He broke down and the tears started. Why it happened john wasn't sure. Was it the thought of making love to Sherlock? Was it the fact he might never have the chance to? John was unsure. All he knew was it felt good after. God, when was the last time he cried? He wasn't sure and at this point it didn't matter. All he knew he didn't feel like moving and after tomorrow things would be different.

The music still played as he cleaned himself off. The music still played as he drifted off to sleep. He was content to know Sherlock, for right now, was there, down stairs, in the living room, playing his violin. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's now or never for John.

John woke up to silence. In all reality he didn't want to wake up. He knew what he had to do and this was the day to do it. He could put it off. He could wait till after they got a case and do it right after when Sherlock was in a good mood. He almost wanted to write a note with "Do you like me? Yes or No". Ugh was he in the fourth grade? He told himself "Get it together." and got out of bed, put on his robe and went down stairs. Straight to the bathroom.

All he had to do is avoid Sherlock till he was ready to drop the bomb. He needed to prepare. He thought of it as going into battle. John needed a shower to take all of the stress out of his body. How many times has he asked this from this shower. John Watson doesn't ask God to help him, he ask his shower. He ask it to take away the pressure of the day, he ask for clarity when he has questions about life and when he doesn't want to have the thoughts of Sherlock naked in his bed, he has the cold water to stop his hard on from getting out of control. When John needs to get away from some horrific smell in the the kitchen, he takes a shower. John worships at the alter of the shower of 221B, congregation of one.

After the shower, robe back on he ran straight back to his room. Who knows if Sherlock is in the flat or not but why take the chance. Just get dressed and get out of the flat. That shouldn't be that hard. Dressed and ready to make a run for it, John opened the door and dashed down the stairs. Grabbed his coat and for good measure called out. "Got to go! Be back later!" again not knowing if anyone was there to hear him or not. After he got outside he didn't even understand why he did it. Sherlock wouldn't notice anyway if he was gone or not. God John you are an idiot. Doesn't matter now. He made it out with out having to look him in the eye, without having him to get deduced.

First stop will be to get some liquor. There might be some in the house but he wasn't about to go and check before he left. So one bottle of some hard liquor wouldn't be the worst thing ever. It's called liquid courage and John was going to need it. He didn't need to be drunk to do this but just needed to take the edge off. Whiskey should do. Could John of went to the store closer to Baker Street? Yes but we know there was no rush so John took a long walk to the Camden one. Either this was a good idea or a bad one. It gave him chance to get his thoughts together. On the other hand he was alone for his thoughts and could talk himself out of this. Nope this is the day and it has to be done one way or another.

If there was scenario that could happen,John thought about on this walk. Good, bad and everything in between. In the end the most important thing was for John to get it off his chest. As far back as he can remember he has never felt the need to do this ever. There has been times when he had to but it was never easy. He was about to die on that tube car with Sherlock and could barely get anything out. John has been a master of taking true feelings and pushing them down deep. His feelings about Sherlock might be the ones he has pushed down the deepest. It's one thing to be desperate and horny and let some guy jerk you off. Having daily thoughts of being with a man the rest of your life is way different than that. He knew that. At the store he got his bottle and left. For some reason he felt very awkward of walking into the flat with just a bottle of liquor. it would be a red flag to sherlock saying "OH this is going to be a bad night." This was a fleeting thought. As soon as he walked in the door, whenever John walked in that door with Sherlock would know everything. If he didn't already. John took his time in looking in shops on the way home. Got something to eat and just sat for awhile and read a paper some one had left before him

It did take his mind off of things for a few mins here and there but he knew he would have to go home and at some point. He was feeling it in his legs how long he had been out. "Screw it." he said and headed home.

* * *

 

At 221B he walked in the door and was never so happy to see Mrs. Hudson. 

"Oh John I brought up tea for you boys hours ago. Sherlock didn't know if you were there or not."

Yep the man I love is a complete dick.

"Well I would kill for one now if you wouldn't mind?"

With a smile she said "Ok dear. I bring it up for you."

"Honestly Mrs. H, I really could use a break from all of that up there. Reason I was out all day was to get away."

If anyone would understand it was this woman. With the offer of tea John bought himself some more time. Sitting there with Mrs. Hudson, sipping tea, he tried to listen if there was noise coming from upstairs. He heard nothing.  

With the tea done John thanked Mrs. Hudson and walked up stairs like he was going to the electric chair. He took a breath and walked through the door of the flat. That's when the smell hit him!

"Sherlock!" John yelled.

All was quiet. No Sherlock. Thank God!

First thing he did was open the windows. The fresh air always helped but really the smell would linger for days after. He put the liquor away and noticed there wasn't any left. Good work John. Thinking ahead. With that he sat down in his chair and opened his book.

The peace lasted about that long. He heard the down stairs door open and close. That is when his heart dropped and he braced himself.  Act causally John. Don't look up unless you have to. With that Sherlock walked in the door.

"Oh, hello John"

Keeping with the rules he gave himself he said "The flat smells of burning flesh again." All without looking up from his book.

Sherlock said nothing. Again John thought to himself, this is the man I love. Flat smells like burning flesh, an "I'm sorry about that." would be nice. But this was Sherlock and only once has he ever asked for John's forgiveness. Only once on that tube car with tears in his eyes. That image will not ever leave John's mind. That look, those words. It was a plan to get John to forgive him yes, but to John it didn't matter. Deep down they both knew they both needed it. Sherlock needed to be forgiven and John needed to give him that.

The silence hung in the air like the smell of burning flesh. John wondered why? He did even know what part of the flat Sherlock was in. If he was in the kitchen he would be able to hear something. After a few mins he heard some noises coming from Sherlock's bedroom.  John's brain wanted to know what he was doing. He stopped himself because he knew where it would lead and the last thing John wanted was a hard on right now. 

John closed his book and went to the kitchen. Got a glass and brought out the bottle of liquor. With both of them on the kitchen counter John knew once he opened that bottle and poured that brown liquid in to that glass, there was no going back. Just pour it in the glass John and sit back down. Why couldn't he do it? Just another question that John couldn't answer. Mins past and then he heard movement from behind him. That was all it took for him to open that bottle and pour. With one sip of the drink John turned around. 

"Little early for a drink John?" Sherlock stated without looking up from the microscope. John just sighed and walked back to the living room. He opened his book and tried to go back to reading. Really the book was a prop for John to hide behind for the moment. For now John felt like he needed it. 

For the next hour that how it was in the flat. Sherlock in the kitchen, John in his chair sipping his drink. Half way trough the drink the noises began in the kitchen again. Then the next thing he saw was Sherlock walking by with a drink in his hand and plop down in his chair across from John. Nothing was said but John knew Sherlock was staring. This of course was nothing new. This was one of the childish things Sherlock did when there were no cases and bored. Sit look at John until John couldn't take it and starting suggesting thing for him to do. The only thing that was different was the drink in both of there hands.

It was very reminiscent of another night they had together, stag night. That night has replayed in his head over and over. How it could of been different. How life would of been different if one of them made a move. If when John put his hand on Sherlock's knee he didn't remove it. If the client never showed up. That night was the most comfortable they were with each other. They were in each others personal space and it felt good. Not awkward, or forced. It felt like that was the way it always should of been. Those few hours were in John's mind, perfect. If anyone ever asked he would say the night was horrible. Never letting on that it was one of his happiest memories with Sherlock.

"Are we planning on getting drunk tonight?" Sherlock asked.

Still behind his book John said "Wasn't planning on it."

"What were you planning?"

And there it was the opening. Just lingering out there. All John had to do was take it. It was almost as if Sherlock knew how to set this conversation for John.

"Why do you ask if you know the answer?" John question. 

"It felt like the right thing to do. To make you feel like you have some control of what ever your about to say."

There it was. Sherlock knew something was going on. He knew John wanted to talk about something. Did he know what John wanted to say? If he did he could make the situation so much easier by telling John he knew. Please when did Sherlock Holmes make things easy for anyone. He even made it hard for John to love him sometimes.

"John I don't what you want to say but I know it matters to you and your scared to say it. Would you like me to tell you how I know?"

How does he do it? Sherlock can't read minds but he can read tell so much by looking at you.

"No." and with that John looked up from the book and there he was in all of his Sherlock Holmes glory. Sitting in his chair, legs crossed, dressing gown on and drink in hand. This was one of the many times John was in awe of how beautiful this man was in every way not just looks but every way possible. He was perfect for John and no one else would ever compare. 

With that thought in his head John took a sip of his drink, licked his lips and started to speak. "God, this is hard." another sip. "Do you know I was a different man before I meet you?"

"Yes people have told me." 

"I never noticed how much I change until you weren't there." Keep it together John. Can't back out now. He couldn't look at him anymore. If he did he knew he wouldn't be able to do this. With John's eyes on the glass in his hands he took a breath and open his mouth. "I thought I could just change back to who I was before I knew you. Live the dull suburban dream everyone wanted." John felt as though his heart was ripping in half. He wanted just to stop talking now. "I don't really know when I knew for sure I didn't want that lifestyle but it was after you came back. I think I tried really hard to live that way. You didn't make it easy."

"Neither did Mary."

What a fucking asshole thing to say! God damnit! John said none of this. The only thing he did was give him "The Look" Sherlock knew what that look meant and looked away for a second and took a sip of his drink.

"This is the hardest thing I ever had to do. Can you please recognize that?" he took another sip. Looking back to his glass "I'm going to say this and do with it what you will. This isn't for your benefit it's for mine. If things change it's up to you and I will deal with it." he could feel Sherlock's stare on him. That wasn't helping the situation at hand and with that he looked up and said "Sherlock, there’s somethings ... I should of said; I’ve  _meant_  to say always and then never have. I might as well say it now. I have to say them now."  they both knew they heard those words before. On that tarmac. They both knew what should of come after that. It didn't happen that day because Sherlock didn't have the courage. Well now John does. "I'm in love with you. That's it. That's all I needed to say." He felt no need to expand on his feelings. He did what he needed to do and now he sat back and waited. He has seen that look on Sherlock's face once before, when he asked him to be his best man. Blank face and eyes.

"Sherlock?"

Sherlock stood up and went to his bedroom. Oh dear god this is bad he can't even look at John. He just got up and walked away without a word. Probably packing a bag as John sat there. John stood and went to the kitchen and filled his drink and went back to his chair with the bottle. There was nothing else to do but get drunk. John took a large gulp to try and make the process go as quick as he could.

With his realization of what he just did a wave of sadness hit John. It hit him so hard he didn't hear Sherlock come back to the living room. 

"Here." and Sherlock shoving his hand in front of John gave him what looked like a dirty piece of yarn that was braided.

"What is this?"

"You know that tan jumper you always used to wear?"

"Yeah?"

"That's a part of it."

"So?" John still didn't understand. Looking at Sherlock he tried to figure it all out. God knows he tried. 

In a way only Sherlock could he sighed, and like it was a chore to explain it he said "I wore that on my wrist for two years. The two years I was gone John."

The jumper in question was thrown out when John moved out of 221B because of a hole he found in it when he was packing up his closet. John never really thought about it after that. It was one of his favorites. Now knowing how and where the hole came from and who made it, made it hard to believe John threw it out.

John knew the answer to his next question but he had to hear it out of Sherlock mouth "Why would you do that?"

"I needed something that connected me to you. Most people would of taken a picture. I just got you out of danger and if the wrong person found it......... So that was out of the question. There were times I almost lost it." and this is when he started to pace."On top of everything thing else I had to worry about losing a idiotic piece of yarn. It was so tedious at times."

John laughed under his breath. Only Sherlock could take something so sweet and make it sound like a job he didn't want to do.  "Well it was John!" John knew he was grinning and he wasn't about to hide it. He placed the yarn from his jumper on the table and stood up. He made his way over to where Sherlock was standing. It was like they were on the tarmac again but this time there was nothing standing in their way. Nothing to stop them. Starring at each other, hearts pounding out of their chest. That's when it happened.

The Kiss

In the living room of 221B. Where they have lived together, Where they met clients at, where they tried to play Cluedo and where they both hid thier feelings for each other for years at. This living room, is where The Kiss they both waited for happened. At that moment nothing matter to either of them. Only one thing did and it was happening in the living room of 221B. 

 

 

 

   


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the time. John knows now

Oh God. 

That is the only thing John could think of when it was going on. With his hands on the side of Sherlock's face and his lips on his that's all he thought of. He didn't think of the years that were wasted. Or how long he waited for this moment. He didn't want to think of anything else. He knew Sherlock's arms we around him, he knew they were breathing heavy, he knew he was so hard and he just didn't care. He sensed Sherlock pulling away from the kiss and that almost killed John. He did pull away but not far. Just far enough to tell John something with their foreheads touching.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being me. For being the way I am. I'm sorry for every time you were hurt becuse of me." Sherlock who never apologized to anyone one. Was now going over everything he thought he might of done wrong to John.

John stopped him before he could go on "Will you just shut up? Just shut up now." and he began to kiss him again. For right now in John's head that all could wait. John could not.

John need to be in this moment for as long as he could. His hands moved down to the lapels of the dressing gown and pulled  him harder in to this kiss. It was like he couldn't get close enough to Sherlock. That is when John felt Sherlock's move down to the sides of his hips and pushed them into his own. In which they both gave a low and needful moan of pleasure. They might both have been in shock over that because they stopped kissing and looked at each other to see if it really happen. John for the first time Sherlock's hardness against him. Which made him grind his hips even more into Sherlock's. Sherlock lifted one hand up to the back of John's neck and pull in so their foreheads were touching again. The other hand still on the side of John's hip. The grinding didn't stop and the breathing got heavier.

That's when Sherlock brought his mouth to John's ear and whispered "Oh God this is .....is." John could feel all of his blood rush to his cock with those few words. John removed Sherlock's dressing gown. Then he started on Sherlock's shirt buttons. Right at that point John hated those buttons. Sherlock looked at John's hands as he did it. How they managed to keep rhythm was beyond both of them. As John pulled up Sherlock's shirt to get the the last two buttons, he looked in Sherlock's eyes again, just making sure that he should keep going. With that low voice he begged John "Please. Don't stop." the way he said it made John move quicker to get the damn thing off. When he undid the last button time stopped. This was really all John wanted. Sherlock's skin under his hands. That's all John ever wanted. John slowly removed this shirt that was only thing between John's hands and this man's skin he wanted to touch. It was almost to much for John to bare. The sight of that pale skin right there in front of him. John who was holding his breath, let all of the air out of his lugs with one big exhale. 

"You are so bloody beautiful." John couldn't stop the words from coming out.

They came together again with a fury, even more than before. The kisses more needy more passionate. In the middle of it he could feel Sherlock pulling him to the floor. When they got there John was on top of him and he could tell Sherlock was pulling up John's shirt. When it went over his head and flung to the other side of the room. With John still up right Sherlock's hands went right to his fly and undid it quickly.

"John I need these off NOW!"  

John never stood up so fast in his life. It pained him to stop touching Sherlock but the thought of them naked, together....... For that he could stand it. As he was toeing off his shoes Sherlock leaned back on his elbows so he could see this better. "All of it John" came out of Sherlock's mouth. Of course obeyed. Now naked he kneeled down and tugged on the waist band trousers and said "I need these off NOW!" that got a grin from Sherlock.

Waiting was not a thing John wanted to do right now. So with a seance of urgency he undid Sherlock's button and lowered the zipper. Meanwhile Sherlock's hips lifted and he helped with taking off the rest of his clothes. John did want to see Sherlock naked but he had the need to be close to him also. So John sat back on his heels and looked at Sherlock. It was a sight to see.

"What?" Sherlock asked.

"It's just, I want to see you like this for so long and now, I have you. I don't want to miss the chance."

"You'll get others I suspect."

That's all John needed to hear and he was crawling up sherlock's body, leaving kisses on the way up. The nosies that came from Sherlock were pornographic. By the time John made it up to Sherlock's neck his cock was touching Sherlocks. Any will power he had in him was gone when he rocked his hips angaist Sherlock's. He couldn't help but look down and to see. It was something alright and John thought he would come right then. Both cocks leaking precum so it made it easier to slide back and forth.  

"John I'm not going to last much longer"

"Neither am I." John straddling Sherlock, licked his hand and put it around both of their cocks. With a few thrust, they both were entranced with the sight of their shafts together. Looking down and then looking at each other faces. It was like they couldn't believe this was happening.  That's all it took for Sherlock and he lost any sense of decency that he had when he came. The orgasm that accompanied it made Sherlock shake under John. 

"Oh fuck John!." Sherlock's hands grabbed John's hips and pushed him down in to him.  "I fucking love......." John at that moment started to come and the sentence was stopped there with a guttural moan from him. John couldn't kneel like that anymore and collapsed on top of Sherlock. His hand still in between the both of them. He could feel sherlock's heart beating in his chest. 

"You." Sherlock said in a breathless whisper.

"What?"

"Just wanted to finish the sentence you rudely interrupted with your caveman groan."

In all honesty John had no clue what he was talking about. There was talking during that?  John heard words like, OH, fucking, fuck and love but, he was pretty sure there wasn't a full sentence in all of that. Moans and groans, yes. He remember them both saying they wouldn't last much longer, ok. After that John heard nothing. Maybe it was because he was on visual and sensory over load. Touching and looking at what was going on, was all John's brain could handle right then. Anything more and he might of passed out right there.   

John rolled off of Sherlock and on to the floor, on to him back.

Looking at the ceiling of 221B John told the truth "If you said anything, I only heard words here and there."

With that famous sigh, that made him sound like it was such a chore to explain "I stated that I loved you or at least I was trying to."

Right then John understood so many things. Why when Sherlock told him the truth about Mary, it wasn't just the gunshot wound that was killing him. It was hurting John that was. Why he left the wedding early. Was because he just watched the man he loved get married.Why when he asked Sherlock to be his best man he got that blank look on his face. It was because he was in love with John. When he came back from the dead and let John beat the shit out of him. It was because he was in love with John. Why he had a piece of John's jumper around his wrist for two years. He loved John. Why he faked his death, was for his love of John. Why he stole that ashtray, was for John. Why when Sherlock acted like a needy child, he was in love with John. He kept going back and back. It was because he loved John. Then he got to the point of after John shot the cabby to save Sherlock. That night! That is were it began. That moment was it. When Sherlock deduced it was John who shot the cabby. That's when it all started for Sherlock and now after all of this time John understood that. How could he have been so blind for so long?

Without taking his eyes off of the ceiling John just said "You been trying to say it to me for a long time." it wasn't a question. He knew it was true and wanted Sherlock to know that he comprehended it. "I just didn't know till now." 

"I know John." as he said it his hand moved to find John's. When it did Sherlock intertwined their fingers together.

That touch might have been even more intimate than what just happened. With that one simple move, all the I'm sorry's were said and everything was forgiven. It was a promise, to each other. To not to let anymore time pass, to never let things go, to not hide feelings. They both knew this and had no need  to speak it.

"Sherlock" John thought he might be ready to stop looking at the ceiling and look at Sherlock. He turned his head and looked at the man he loved so much and said "This is the way it should of been from the beginning."

"Agreed but things happened the way they did and now this is where are. Right where we were meant to be."  At that point Sherlock let go of John's hand and turned his whole body to face John. Propping his head up with his one hand and with the other he placed on John's chest. "I love you John." The look in his eyes made John want to cry right there. It was a look of honesty and hope. With a slight smile he leaned down towards John and kissed him.

When Sherlock came back up to look at John his eyes were closed for a moment. They opened like he was waking up from a dream and said "Sherlock I love you too."

Down stairs Mrs.Hudson put back the other two tea cups she brought out before to the cabinet where they belonged and with a smile on her face she pour herself a cup of tea and giggled to herself "Told them they wouldn't need the second bedroom."  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i ended it thank god but i don't think this will be the last one


End file.
